(this is a shortened version of https://medium.com/@langma/hi-im-transgender-5a191deb4003)
I am a trans woman, my name is Marion, and I would ask that you refer to me with she/her.
Here’s the basic narrative:
I have known my entire life that I am transgender. Some of my earliest memories involve feelings of incongruence with my body, and with what I knew I would grow up to become. However, in the place and time where I grew up and matured, there was no language for me to express or even understand these feelings. So, this element of my identity—intrinsic to my sense of self—became a source of shame. And I learned (to the detriment of my mental health and wellbeing) to do my best to compartmentalize.
It has been a long journey for me to unpack, understand, and accept my identity. For the first time in my life, I feel ok with who I am. I feel a contentment and ease in knowing and accepting myself.
Over the past few years in particular, I have done a lot of intense self-work. And I have realized that it is extremely important to me to stop wearing a mask and hiding behind a manufactured and insincere version of myself.
So, I am coming out.
One thing that I know that people—especially people who have known me a long time—may worry about is making mistakes. It’s ok. I understand. All that I ask is that you try. If you slip up, correct yourself and move on. I am not offended.
It takes a long time to create a new mental model of someone’s identity! In my experience it has been helpful to correct myself and be intentional even when I am thinking about someone who has transitioned, and not wait until I’m face-to-face to do so.
I can’t guarantee that this isn’t going to be a messy process. I have a lifetime of relationships, connections, accounts, and paperwork that I have accumulated. There are so many things that are not under my control. And even for those that are, there is bound to be some awkwardness. Thank you for bearing with me!